Happy Horrordaze: Killer Fun with Sadie the Sadist

Here come the holidays, and it’s your turn to host a party, but you’re not loaded. No need to panic. I’ll lead you step by step, as you take a stab at preparing my killer recipes. Easy to make, economical, and nourishing, my innovative twists on traditional crowd pleasers will surprise and amaze your friends. Weenies and balls, what could be better?

Bonus: Sadie Says, waste not want not. Not only are these recipes are nifty and thrifty, they are excellent for disposing of unwanted guests and relatives.

Sadie’s Beanie Weenies

Basically, this recipe contains two important ingredients: beans and (you guessed it) weenies. I use canned beans, but when it comes to weenies, I want them fresh and plump. Whacking weenies can take time, (unless we’re talking teenagers) so plan ahead—at least a dozen heads, really, if you plan to make a pot. Note: I’m referring to the little head, of course.

Ingredients:

1 pound weenies (can substitute with hot dogs)

2 tablespoons butter

1/4 cup yellow onion, chopped

2 tablespoons brown sugar

1 28 oz. can baked beans

2/3 cup ketchup

1½ tablespoons apple cider vinegar

2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

1½ teaspoons powered garlic

2 teaspoons Dijon mustard

1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped

Cheddar cheese, grated for on top

Preparation:

1. Slice weenies. (Weenies are easier to slice when cold, in fact you may want them frozen … unless you’re using hot dogs.) Some people like thick slices, so you can stab them with a toothpick. I prefer thin, and I often serve this as a main course.

2. Melt the butter in a large skillet or pot, add chopped onions and sliced weenies. Brown until weenies crisp, and sprinkle them with brown sugar to form a yummy glaze.

3. Add remaining ingredients (except cheese) and bring to a boil.

4. Immediately turn heat to very low, and simmer about 25 minutes, stirring frequently to prevent sticking.

5. Transfer to a crockpot to keep it warm (or serve immediately).

  

6. Serve in bowls with grated cheese

Sadie’s Swedish Meatballs

Who doesn’t love meaty balls? Swedes are hearty and sexually liberated people, but you don’t need a Swede to make these tangy treats. You don’t even need balls (although that’s what I often use).  Note: I serve this dish as an appetizer with fancy toothpicks; if you want a main course, double the sauce and serve over noodles.

Ingredients:

2 slices day old bread, crumbled (you can use white, but I use whole grain because it’s healthier)

1/4 cup heavy cream

3 tablespoons butter

1/2 cup finely chopped white onion

1 teaspoon sea salt

1½ pound ground meat (I use whatever meat I have on hand, or in hand, as the case may be … but you can use half pork, half beef. Some people use turkey.)

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper

1/4 teaspoon allspice

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1 tablespoon brown sugar

1/4 cup white flour

3 cups beef broth

4 ounces sour cream

Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F

2. Place breadcrumbs in a small bowl, add cream, mix, and let sit for about ten minutes.

3. While bread is sitting, melt one tablespoons of butter in a skillet and sauté the onions until golden.

4. Place the onion in a mixing bowl. Add meat, egg, salt, pepper, allspice, nutmeg, sugar, and bread crumb mixture. Mush together using your fingers.

5. Melt the rest of the butter in the skillet. Pinch off about 1½ tablespoon of meat, and roll hunk into a ball. (This should make about 30 meatballs.) Brown meatballs in the skillet for about 5 minutes, turning frequently. The insides should still be pink.

6. Put browned meatballs in a baking dish. Pour in a quarter cup of the broth, cover, and bake for 40 minutes, until the balls are tender. (Yum!) Remove meatballs and place in a serving dish.

7. Save all the juices for the gravy, and pour them into a saucepan. Whisk in the flour, and stir until it’s smooth. Then whisk in the remaining broth. Continue whisking, while you bring the mixture to a simmer and cook for 5 minutes. Just before serving, whisk in the sour cream and season with salt and pepper. Pour the sauce over the meatballs. (Yum! Yum! Yum!)

Sadie Says: Have fun. Don’t let vegans and other party poopers talk you into serving tofu meat alternatives! Tofu is made with soy, an insidious ingredient that finds its way into all kinds of things (read your labels) along with corn. Yuck! Human beings are natural carnivores. Basically, we’re predators.

Article by: Zane Sachs

Check out her blog: Zané Sachs-Going Down