“Delightfully
gory and laugh out loud funny, Demons, Dolls, & Milkshakes will keep you
reading and have you reaching for a cigarette when you're done.”
"PICK
THIS UP. YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT."
“The
modern and plain dialogue is oddly unsettling, slyly aligning you with the
worst ideas before you realize what kind of hell-ride you got on. Pyles blends
friendship and hatred, betrayal and lust with demonology, necrophilia and the
biggest sigh in the world into one bloody smooth shake.”
"An
un-putdown-able tour-de-force! A riveting page-turner! Highly entertaining! Now
that we have dispensed with the clichés, this was a thoroughly enjoyable and
fun debut novel from a talented author and truly lives up to the aforementioned
clichés. The fast-paced story and loveable characters (yes, even the diabolical
demons) made this novel almost impossible to put down."
"Demons,
Dolls, & Milkshakes was an awesome read. Excellent dialogue, excellent
storyline, hilarious and really well done... Now I want a pocket-sized demon of
my own, which I will call Pooky."
"The
twists and turns keep you reading but the humorous throughout makes this read a
winner!"
So
what's this winner of a story about...
After
years of watching horror movies, Kat Dougherty has learned one true thing about
the supernatural.
Demons
are dicks.
And
the biggest dick of them all just showed up at her house, trapped inside an
ugly six-inch doll. If there’s one thing that will piss off an unemployed,
unhappy chain smoker more than anything, it’s a six-inch dick running amok in
her house.
Maybe
a little background first…
Kat
returns home from getting creature comforts to ride out a snow storm in
Pittsburgh. She has cigarettes, a milkshake, horror movies and an ugly little
doll that was given to her by a friend. As she starts her first movie, the doll
comes to life and begins to make demands for a new body to occupy. Being an
irrational and desensitized girl, she flatly refuses. After all, what’s so scary
about an ugly six inch doll?
The
doll, who calls itself Stitch, tells Kat of how he came to be and where he came
from; a place scarier than hell itself.
New
Jersey
The
demon who would become Stitch is conjured into the doll by a confused teenaged
boy named Marty. Although technically this makes Marty a demon master, he has
no idea of the power he has, or the kind of evil that kind of power attracts.
Soon, people start dying and other demons show up, looking for Marty’s pet
demon. All the while, Stitch looks for a way to transfer himself into a larger
body or at least get the hell away from the kid he has to call ‘Master.’
As
the body count rises and the demons circle ever closer, a creature that may or
may not be the Almighty arrives to ‘fix’ everything. Which means horrible
things for Stitch who finds himself stuck in the doll until he learns to be
humble. An impossible task if you’re a demon like Stitch.
Kat,
taking pity on the sad little doll thingy, decides to help Stitch; a decision
they both seem to regret almost instantly as once again, demons and evil
minions start showing up at Kat’s house looking to destroy Stitch and anyone
who might be helping him.
See?
Dicks. The whole supernatural lot of them.
Can
Kat hold herself together to get through a day filled with demons, death,
violence and extreme terror?
Only
if there’s a milkshake waiting for her at the end of it. Maybe.
Find
out what happens to Kat by getting your copy today at:
For
more information, please visit:
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